Doctor Update:
I have an OB in Bolivar. It is official, and she's highly spoken of. Things are different here is Missouri. I had to see a nurse practitioner first, but since I'm a transfer patient with all of my blood work done, I didn't have to do any exams or tests. Yay! Blood pressure is excellent, along with all else. I'm doing well. We didn't have an ultrasound as expected, but we did get to hear the heartbeat. Along with a kick or punch. Mom, remember that crazy and embarrassing child you had to bribe to visit the doctor? And though you bribed, she sometimes assaulted/tried to assault the doctors and nurses? Well, I may be making you another one. :)
There's a magical and degrading moment during pregnancy when you throw up the most delicious pizza in the area. Seriously, Breadeaux's is the bomb. Try as I might, the bathroom was just too far away. I made it to the tile and promptly threw up all over myself. The magical and degrading part is when your precious mother and husband clean it up for you, while forcing you into the shower. This may be totally repulsive to you and for that, I apologize. But in that moment, I realized that I am so far from in control. And that is totally ok. Ask anyone, I like when things go my way. Who doesn't? I am no longer the captain of my own ship. I have been downgraded to copilot of my life and body. (Maybe even less than that on some days.) You know, maybe I should have never considered myself to be the boss, however comforting it has felt to me. All along, I should have been in an equal partnership with my Heavenly Father. He knows what's coming to me. Happy, sad, in between. I didn't want to tell anyone outside of family for a long time about our baby because I was afraid to jinx it. And it would be my fault. Silly, because whatever or whomever is meant to come to us, will. Such a simple and truly comforting truth. So, now, I am trying to be "out of control," and loving it. It's difficult. I still worry and fight it sometimes, but I try to breath and move on. You know, when the teacher tells the kindergartener to take a deep breath in and blow it out? That's what I'm doing. Learning, always learning.
I've been asked this question a few times: What's it like to be pregnant and away from your family?
Answer: It's sad. My family is filled with strong and wonderful mothers. From day one, I had several moms. I was never alone. My first niece, Kayla, was born 1.5 years before me. I had my very best friend built in. We got to live together for a time, and were inseparable for many years. I'm an adult now and relationships change over time, but it is so hard to be away and eventually have to keep my child away from the arms of my family. It especially hurts to think about the latter. I do know that Josh and I are doing the best thing we can for our blossoming family. I know we should be here. I try to think of that, and that only.
Needless to say, I am looking forward to school to start. As ridiculous as this sounds, I have three more semesters until I finish my A.A. I love to learn new things and reading, but school has always been difficult for me. My mind doesn't work well inside the box. I overstress and overthink everything, which has caused a lot of error on tests and papers. Regardless, I am going to get my A.A. here in Missouri, then a bachelor's once we return home to the great state of Texas. I have no idea what I will get a bachelor's in, but I will. I'm looking forward to being a totally online student! This way, I can slow down and teach myself. Besides, driving 45 minutes to and from Springfield to the nearest campus is awful. I refuse to do it again. My poor driving skills won't allow it!
As promised, here are a some current pictures :)
These girls are THE best travel dogs. 13 hours of well-behavedness.
Our house
My first pot of Mom's caldo
Grilling and 4th of July fireworks all from our backyard!!
Till next time.
